How to Stop Lying to yourself!
Ever wake up after getting plenty of sleep and yet you feel exhausted? After feeling this way, you realize that something has to radically change, but you aren't sure exactly what.
The first thing to do is be very strong and courageous and not lie to yourself.
- Ask yourself what is working?
- What is not working?
- Is there a gap between where I want to be and where I currently am in my business?
If you need to go outside of your inner circle for that, then that's when you need to do to get a really honest answer and not lie to yourself. You can hire a coach or get an accountability partner outside of your friend circle. We are just not designed to point those things out to ourselves, that is why they are called "blind spots." We all have them in both our personal and professional business life.
Trust me if you already knew how to do it, you would have done it.
Grant yourself a little grace to forgive yourself and by any means necessary, figure out what you need, whether it's training, hiring a business coach, getting an accountability partner, or whatever it takes, make a list and just start knocking things off till you can figure out what works best for you.
If you are trying to build up your courage and confidence muscle.
It's just like any other muscle that we work out to get in shape, that courage muscle of not lying to yourself and really being honest when something isn't working. It takes intentional practice to strengthen these muscles.
The next step: release and let go, of things that happened that hurt your feelings or things you took personally. Give yourself permission to let go of these things now and forever.
Don't hold on to them because they will just hold you back. Nobody is waking up and saying they are intentionally going to piss you off or hurt your feelings. Nobody is doing that. Everyone is so worried about their own selves that they don't have time to be thinking of ways to try to hurt you. These things just happen.
The thing is, somebody might be hurting and people who are hurt often hurt other people. I remember the first time I heard that statement.
Hurt people, hurt people!
Not intentionally but when people have been hurt or are hurting they tend to hurt others because their mindset is hurt or be hurt. It's a survival code in our human DNA we are just programmed that way. Unless you are fully aware you may not even know that this is going on in your subconscious mind.
The best thing is to release and let go. Figure out a way to forgive and move forward even if you have to forgive yourself. You don't have to allow those people into your life anymore, but release the baggage by forgiving and moving forward. Don't beat yourself up for every bad business decision you have ever made.
You don't have to keep torturing yourself with whatever thing you did wrong or you wish was better. You need to give yourself some grace, show yourself some kindness and love and release it all and let it go.
I talk about this at great length in my book Beyond Common 12 Essentials for Success in Life and the Workplace
Remember: If you would have known better, you would have done better. Now you know you have learned this particular lesson so if it presents itself again trust that you will do better.
Ok so now that ......
You've gone through what's working, what's not working. You have stopped lying to yourself and you've released everything that doesn't serve you.
Now, we can start from a place of what do you really want and what will really serve your customer, what will serve your community, what will serve your life purpose? When we can goal set and plan, around all of this that's when we're able to light things on fire and have rapid growth. You will crystal clear on what you want, on fire and sparking creativity like nobody’s business. 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Now you are on a success journey, and I suggest you breathe and enjoy the process. Remember in your struggle is the greatest lesson. It's all part of the process. Once you walk yourself through that part, then you are starting from a place of really being able to set goals. To help you, I have created the Beyond Common Goal setting Guidebook and training for you. It's ninety days to your best self and it literally walks you through the whole process so that you can dive deep into some of the questions we've discussed here today.
You can talk about what lights you up, your goals, what's working, what's not. Everything you need is right there in the Beyond Common Goal setting Guidebook and training. Remember many of us are not sure how to how to look at what's working or what's not. But with my guide, you will have all the right questions to ask so you will be less likely to get away with lying to yourself. It will have you well on your way to becoming the best version of yourself.
When you really have the right questions, you're able to write the answer them from the heart. You'll look at it and see if the system and process still work for you in your business.
You can Refine what is working and then set a goal on moving forward. You will toss or discard other goals that are less important or not important to you anymore at all.
Fine-tuning and refining your goals and process is important because it's going to elevate your goals and get to a higher level.
Things change, life changes, and what used to be important before may not be as important now. Be honest and present at this moment, and don't be afraid to continue to re-establish and redefine your goals, then look at your plan of how you can achieve them. This is what makes your goals setting strategy attainable.
My Beyond Common Goal Setting Guidebook and Training provides you with a path and of how you're going to achieve your goals. You must have the strength and courage to keep a promise to yourself, to be trustworthy enough to yourself, and hold yourself to a high enough standard that you can make a promise to yourself and take action and actually achieve it.
And not setting goals means you run the risk of going in the direction of what someone else wants for you -- or living someone else's vision for your life.
Dive deep and fine-tune your goal-setting process and break it down into smaller bite-sized chunks. It really does allow you to have the clarity and focus to know what you should be doing every day and every hour to know if you are getting closer to your goals or moving farther away from them.
Make sure you understand the difference between a goal and a wish. If you set goals and don't have a plan to track progress or refine your goals, you're making a wish. But when we set a goal and plan for it and break it down into bite-sized chunks, just one step at a time, it is amazing what you can achieve.
Sometimes, we think we can accomplish a great deal in one day, but other times, we'll say I only got 5 of the 20 things on my list done. But if you didn't write out all 20, maybe you wouldn't have done any. It's totally cool to write out your to-do list for the day and then say, oh, well, I got these five done.
Awesome, I celebrate you! You got those five done! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
We often inflate what we can get done in a day, but underestimate what we can accomplish in 90 days. I am all about setting goals that are broken down into 90 day periods because 90 days keep it top of mind, keeps it fresh, keeps us interested, and we can achieve much more in 90 days than we really think we can. By applying these goal-setting principles and essentials so that you can really achieve your best life, and become the best version of yourself.
These are just some of my insider secrets on goal setting and how to use different questions in the guidebook.
I hope that this is helpful to you. I would love to hear what you're working on, and what your goals are. Please tag me on social media at TraceyWattsCirino.com and share what you come up with for your goal setting.
Visit BeyondCommonBusinessSecrets.com/guide, put in your name and email address my Goal Setting Guidebook and Training.
We have put a lot of time and energy into this and I think you'll find it really valuable.
Thanks for reading our blog and be sure to let me know how the Beyond Common Goal Setting Guidebook is working for you!
Your Biggest Cheerleader,
Tracey Watts Cirino