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How do you know when you're lying to Yourself and How do you stop?

Beyond Common Book, Tracey Watts Cirino
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How do you know when you're lying to Yourself and How do you stop?


By Tracey Watts Cirino


What does it mean to stop lying to yourself?

That is the question I get asked this all the time from clients. I always work with entrepreneurs and small business owners. And I frequently get direct messages on Facebook and Instagram asking how do I know when I'm lying to myself? And what is that about?


  In my book Beyond Common 12 Essentials to Success in Life in the Workplace, there is a whole chapter dedicated about Stop Lying to yourself.


And I often say that just because you keep telling the same story over and over again and repeating that same narrative, that doesn't make it true.


It just makes you a good storyteller.


So oftentimes we'll find ourselves in situations where we know we have something big to do, but we'll think of all the excuses and all the reasons that why we can't. So I often say you're lying to yourself. Someone might come to me and say, I'm setting up a training program for my team and I did everything. I put the time in. I did the work. I did this.


I did all the things.


Well, when I ask direct questions like, OK, what else could you have done here? Or what went wrong here, they usually know. And that leads us back to saying that you did everything, even to yourself, is generally something that you're lying to yourself about.


So I have been going through this process and this has been a struggle for me because I love serving our customers. I love lavishing our guests. I love being there to help build confidence, make people look as beautiful on the outside as I know they are on the inside. I love doing all these things. I love that we've set up systems and best practices that our clients trust us. And we've instituted all the new Covid protocols to keep everyone safe. I love all these things about hairdressing.


I also love helping business owners and entrepreneurs find their path to success. I love getting people on the same page and I want to help lots of people do just that in their businesses.


So I have been going through the struggle for the past year of saying, oh, because of this and because of that. All of these life things that have happened in our lives, and all these things I've been going through, but I realized I'd been lying to myself, saying it's OK  to live within a situation that isn’t working anymore or creating excuses for why it can't be the way I want it to be .


And what I want to share this with you is that, yes, I love doing hair and I am going to do lots of exciting things to help others be successful in this area of hair stylist, hair colorist, and salon owner.


However, coming back from all of this, it does not make sense for us to put all the time, money and energy into running the salon at this time.  And the new restrictions and protocols don't allow me to help as many people as I really want to or as I've planned to do. Or get as many guests in as I have always been able to before.

 So right now, it makes the most sense to sell my salon company and move on with my book and my coaching and training company’s and create something different for our salon community.


 For the longest time, I've had this passion project to write a book and do more work on my consulting business where I help business owners and entrepreneurs. Including salon owners and other creative business owners.


 I have been saying forever that, oh, but I have to make sure the salon is just right first.  I've been in business for fifteen years and for most of those years the salon has run on autopilot because we've only hired people and put people on our team that truly embodied what Lavish was about.


I never in all the years I've been there, I never really had to be in the building, but went to the salon because I wanted to be there.


We've been able to grow people and teach them a lot of life skills, as well as technical skills, that have allowed them to earn an amazing living. So that has always been the case all of the years we have been open.


 Yes, I could do a book tour and I could do all the things we had originally planned and still have Lavish.


However, after Covid, we were in a situation where a lot of our team had life challenges and struggles of their own that made it different and difficult.


 Right now it has been like we  have had to be starting over from scratch.


And that is not where my heart is right now. I would be servicing my guests and clients who have supported me and believed in me, our brand and our vision all these years. I would be not want to let anyone down or make them feel like I was taking their support and generosity all these years for granted.


I just don't want to do that.


I want to make sure that everyone is taken care of and really given the opportunity to do what's best for them. And at this moment in time, it's very hard for me to say.

 But the best thing for me and my family is for me to step away from being behind the chair at Lavish and work on my passion projects and my other business opportunities that I need to do to better serve the hairdressing community and other business owners, that is what my heart is being called to do.


I have so many amazing and exciting things coming for you in the near future.


But this is like the process I talk about in Beyond Common.


It's never set it and forget it. We're never done. We are always looking for ways to improve.


I had been lying to myself for so long thinking I have to do all this first over here before I can get to this, and I did not realize it was a blind spot for me, so I had been lying to myself.


And right now in this moment my vision is clear. I'm removing that blind spot,  that lie that I've been telling myself that I had to do it a specific way, that we had to have the salon as our main business platform. I want to help a lot of salon owners and a lot of small business owners who are struggling right now and I can do that much better by focusing  on bringing my book to more people and helping more business owners in every way that I can.


I will be doing guest appearances and pop up shops at local salons and other businesses . So stay tuned.


I have a lot of exciting stuff coming your way. Make sure you sign up to get on my insiders list of everything that is going on.


To get on the list --  just send us an email to and ask  and to be added to Tracey's guest appearance, pop up shop, and book signing  list. Or let us know of anything else you need.


I want to help you  find the best salon and the best stylist to serve you and your needs. Remember  I'm here as a resource to help you find the best salon home.


And I want you to know that I love and care and appreciate all your support and encouragement.


 This is a transformative time for for me and I know for a lot of people, so I am not abandoning you, or neglecting you or anything like that.


I'm still here to help guide you to the right salon for you. I can help you by providing all your favorite haircare and other luxury beauty products right from our website. And I will still be showing up for you on  social media and through emails to help guide you guys to having all the best beauty and salon covid protocols, all the stuff that you need to feel safe.


I  will still provide and help I can offer you as a resource.


I am still here. I'm not going anywhere. I just will no longer be in our old building  at lavish,


Lavish is going to evolve into more of lavish luxury products and get all your hair coloring questions answered  community so that we can serve and help more people.


I love you all and I appreciate you.


 you ask me all the time how Tracey puts in the practice of, you know, How to  not be  lying to herself. And this is that time I realized that I didn't even know it. That I was totally lying to myself!


See, that's the thing. It creeps up on you.  I have been lying to myself for the longest time because I do love what I do, but I, want to serve a greater purpose and do even more to help more people.


 I love you and I'm here for you and


I wish you all the best, the most joy and happiness, health, wealth, abundance, in all areas of life.


So know that from the bottom of my heart,


I know this is a lot to take in and a lot to hear.


However, I know that everything is going to get better and better. So stay tuned.


I have lots of great stuff coming your way and I just wanted to share this from this really authentic, raw and honest place as I've just been going through the process of discovering it myself!

With Love and Gratitude,

Tracey Watts Cirino


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